Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man Essay - 684 Words

Humorous Wedding Speech by the Best Man When Daniel came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honour but, when I looked at all the duties required of me, I felt he’d be better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me a fifty, but I told him that it wasn’t a decision that money could change. So then he offered me a hundred. Anyway, good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - My name is Rob and it’s my pleasure to be Daniels best man today. So let me tell you about all those best man duties that originally concerned me, because I was immediately stumped by the first one: ‘ensure that the groom’s face and hair are in order.’ Well Daniel, I have to say that if nature didnt get them in order the first time around,†¦show more content†¦Now, I hope you also noticed that, as well as on time, the bridegroom arrived sober – another achievement which shouldn’t be underestimated. Because Daniel does enjoy a drink from time to time, and at one point he even attempted to brew his own beer. Now most people would use berries, fruits or flowers to produce alcohol. But Daniel was the first to try fermented goats milk. He believed his beer would have nutritive value and while you may not find his brew on the off license shelves, you will still find it bubbling away in Daniel’s bedroom. I just hope he hasn’t brought a barrel of it along today in attempt to save a few quid. Which reminds me, I was astonished to learn, that by tradition, I am supposed to bring a cheque book or credit card to settle any payments the bridegroom may have forgotten. I wasn’t too happy about this, because everyone who has ever lent Daniel money has one thing in common †¦ nothing! Kim, if ever you need the house to yourself or some time apart from Daniel, just lend him some money – you won’t see him for days. The most enjoyable best man duty is of course arranging the stag weekend. And I’m delighted to say that it passed without incident or disaster - or at least that’s what I thought until the hotel returned my deposit, minus a  £50 cleaning fee for room 27 and a complimentary plastic mattress cover. There were 12 of us on the trip andShow MoreRelatedA Wedding Speech By The Maid Of Honor And The Best Man1750 Words   |  7 Pagesfor each other. Wedding speeches and text messages seemingly have no connections to one another; but through purpose, audience, and conventions such as tone, diction, and grammar choices we see that the two genres reveal how close two friends are. Furthermore, we see how the purpose and audience change the content of the two genres and how the audience change the tone and diction of the writing. In almost every wedding, a wedding speech is given by the maid-of-honor and the best man. These speechesRead MoreI Met My Best Friend1396 Words   |  6 Pageswithout friends, we would be alone. I met my best friend when I was eleven-years-old. Our teacher forced us to sit next to each other after the first few days of school. We didn’t talk to each other much because we both had our own friends. However, one day, we decided to each lunch together and we started hanging out more and more. Soon, we became inseparable. People could tell that we were best friends by the way we acted around each other. Much like my best friend and I, the devotion and loyalty betweenRead MoreWedding Speech By The Maid Of Honor And The Best Man1469 Words   |  6 Pagesthe friendships we have because there’s nothing more valuable than having your best friend’s presence through each decision made, through each important event, through each step you take in life. Without friends, we would be alone. The devotion and loyalty between two friends are shown through real life interactions. However, written words can also show how much two friends care for one another. Text messages and wedding speeches may seem to have no connection to each other, but through content, toneRead More Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Essay1000 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the grooms father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didnt want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech. Its the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesnt really know whatRead More Humorous Wedding Speech by the Groom Essay875 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Groom Thank you for your kind words, I am very proud to be your son-in-law; I hope I can live up to your expectations. I would sincerely like to thank you for welcoming me into your family, for bringing up such a lovely daughter, and for giving me your blessing to marry her. In addition. due to the number of phone calls between my wife and her mom, the phone company would also like to thank you both. On this date in history in 1889 the Boer War ended, andRead MoreEssay about Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom571 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit, I am more nervous about participating in this wedding than I was as the groom (bridegroom) at my own wedding. Maybe its because I have been married thirty years and I know what my son is getting himself in to! Joking aside, Ive had a wonderful marriage and I would like to remind David and Arba that its a serious business, and shouldnt be entered into lightly - although, at his weightRead More Humorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Essay606 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech – Reasons I Admire the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I’m not an experienced public speaker, so I find it easier just to read the speech word for word. In fact, I’ve practiced it almost daily for about a week and a half now, so that I know it very well. It’s a tip that I read in a book about public speaking. I’ve also been drinking profusely to help calm my pre-speech nerves. I made that tip up myself. Laughter Yes, I am a little nervous about being theRead More Humorous Wedding Speech - Some Advice for the Bridegroom (Groom)692 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech - Some Advice for the Bridegroom (Groom) Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - If you didnt know already, my name is Alberto and Im in the wedding party. That is the reason I?m dressed like this. What have I done to be blessed with such an honour? Who?s dropped out at the last minute? Had William?s other friends left the country? Could I turn the job down and still get an invite to eat and drink at William?s expense? I didn?t want to risk it, so lets get on with itRead More Humorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men Essay791 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech – Two Best Men Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. For those of you that are wondering why there are two best men standing up here, it’s perfectly simple. Arthur wanted to appoint a best man for the occasion, but sadly couldn’t find one, so he got two barely competent ones instead. So before I start, let me clarify the ‘role’ situation. Dennis, Arthur’s university friend and very trustworthy, was responsible for carrying the rings in church. I am Steve, Arthur’sRead More Humorous Wedding Speech for a Car Salesman Essay644 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech for a Car Salesman Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – for those of you who don’t know me I’m Floyd, Edward’s best man. Of course, the only problem with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get a chance to prove it, but if anyone wants to start a drinking competition later, then come talk to me. Edward has been a great friend to me since we met. And, over that time, hes always been there for me. I remember especially him being there when I had my first